Toxic positivity is saying it’s okay when really it isn’t. It’s about still being in the “hard” of life when you or someone else says, “but I have it so much easier than others” or “I should be grateful for what I have.”
Being positive and trying to find the silver lining in a tough situation is a great thing. But it can be unhelpful when it is not genuine or the forced positivity nullifies real hardship, uncertainty and
fear.
This article in the Washington Post explains it like this: “It’s an attractive behavior in people that makes them seem more well adapted and more
popular with their peers, so there are a lot of reasons people want to seem or be positive,” said Preston, who specializes in empathy, altruism and the way emotions affect behavior.
But people who are genuinely effusive and upbeat aren’t the issue, she said. “It’s a problem when people are forced to seem or be positive in situations where it’s not natural or when there’s a problem that legitimately needs to be
addressed that can’t be addressed if you don’t deal with the fact that there is distress or need,” she said.
If you are struggling with the start of the new year, it’s okay that you are. You don’t have to cover up your struggle with forced gratitude or choose not to share your struggle because “they have it worse than I do” thinking.
Mental health is not a 1 + 1 = 2 scenario. It takes time to go through the middle of your struggle (that is, deal with it and not avoid it) and come out the other side.
Be patient. Have hope that things will change. And look for one thing you are hopeful about for tomorrow or the next day. Maybe it’s a delivery. Maybe it’s a new opportunity. Either way, confidently expect that things will get better.
