You adore your child but they are so difficult to live with sometimes. One minute calm, the next minute overwhelming anger and you bear the brunt of it. It’s not your job to take on all the anger your kid or teen has stored up for you. But you still want to help. But how?
Every emotion starts with a sensory feeling in the body. Helping your child or teen understand the need to listen to these bodily signals is key. We often miss the bodily cues, even as adults. But it can help so much to pay attention to what it is trying to tell us.
Help your child practice mindfulness every morning. Instead of “how are you today?”, try something along the lines of “what do you feel in your body this morning?”
You can also help them focus on 5 strong breaths before a meal together. Ask them to focus on their breathing, and to drop their shoulders, and listen for a longer out breath compared to the in breath. You can walk them through this with something along the lines of, “Close your eyes and focus on your body. Do you want to wiggle your toes? Do you have an itch on your elbow? What is it telling you? Is your heart racing like a racehorse? Is it hard to breathe like you are under water? When you’re ready, you can open your eyes and come back to me.”
Remember – every emotion starts with a sensory feeling in the body. It’s our job to listen to what that sensory feeling is and make sense of what it is trying to tell us. The more you and your child can do this, the less likely they will go from calm to fiery in a matter of seconds. Remember that you doing this too (noticing your own bodily sensations) will help role model to them how it’s done!
