Bedtime routines are super important for kids. What we’re trying to do is create a familiar environment and sequence of events that helps your kid know exactly what is coming next.
They’ll have a high degree of familiarity and safety, and going to sleep won’t be that big of a deal. When we know what’s going to come next, our brains get used to the sequence of events and we go straight to sleep. Ah, heaven!
Sleep time and wake time consistency is important. We need to go to bed at the same time in the evening and wake up at the same time most mornings for good quality sleep. The more we focus on that and have a routine that leads everyone up to the same bedtime and the same wake-up time, the better.
The Routine
In terms of the routine, we’re looking for something pretty dang simple here.
Maybe that sequence can be bath, brush teeth, read a story, hug and a kiss, then lights out. It’s a pretty simple string of events that your kid can rely on every evening.
After that hug and kiss, you’re not going to want to hang around. Your kid is going to be pretty good at pulling you back in to stay in the room with them, but what the research has found is that self-soothing is really hard to do when you’ve got a parent in the room. Self-soothing will no longer be needed because they’ll rely on the parent soothing them.
I realize that’s really challenging and I get that and depending on your situation, this can feel almost impossible. Do it step-by-step. Don’t just leave the room and expect things to go okay – it won’t.
If you’re usually in the room, try and do eight minutes in the room and two minutes just outside the room, then 7 minutes in the room and 3 minutes just outside of the room. You’re going to slowly but surely pull yourself out of the room to help your kid learn how to self-soothe.
Remember the more familiar the routine and the more safe they feel, the easier they are going to get to sleep, and the sooner you get your treasured me time too!
