You achieve something big—a promotion, a major project win, a moment where you truly shine. But instead of celebrating, you shrink. You tell yourself not to talk about it too much, not to make a big deal out of it. The last thing you want is for people to think you’re bragging. So you downplay it, dismiss it, and move on. But deep down, something feels off.
For hard working professionals, humility is often ingrained. You’ve been taught that confidence can come across as arrogance, that celebrating your success might make others uncomfortable. So you keep yourself in check, making sure you never take up too much space. But over time, this can lead to something unexpected—you start struggling to ownyour accomplishments at all.
The more you minimize your achievements, the harder it becomes to feel them. You tell yourself that your success was luck, that anyone could have done it, that it’s not a big deal. And while everyone else gets to be proud of their work, you’re stuck in a loop of keeping your ego in check so tightly that you don’t let yourself feel anything. Eventually, you start wondering: If I don’t even acknowledge my wins, does anything I do really matter?
This week in therapy, a client shared: “I don’t like talking about my accomplishments. I don’t want to be that person. But at the same time, when no one acknowledges it, I feel like all my effort was for nothing.”
They described how they always brushed off compliments and redirected conversations away from their success. “I worked so hard for this, but I can’t bring myself to say that out loud without feeling like I’m being arrogant.” Over time, they started feeling invisible—like no matter how much they achieved, it didn’t really count if they weren’t allowed to acknowledge it.
Through therapy, we worked on redefining confidence vs. arrogance—understanding that celebrating a win isn’t the same as bragging. We practiced ways to accept compliments without deflecting, to acknowledge success without feeling guilty, and to separate ego from acknowledgement.
They started allowing themselves small moments of pride, practicing saying, “Thank you, I worked really hard on that,” instead of brushing it off. And over time, they realized that recognizing their own achievements wasn’t about arrogance—it was about self-respect.
If you struggle to own your success because you’re afraid of being seen as arrogant, you’re not alone. In my 1:1 therapy sessions, we’ll work on helping you celebrate your wins without guilt, build confidence without ego, and take up space in a way that feels right for you.
