You work so hard—delivering on tight deadlines, solving impossible problems, and going above and beyond—and then, when someone compliments you for it, something strange happens. You freeze, deflect, or dismiss it entirely, as if the praise wasn’t meant for you.
Struggling to accept compliments isn’t just an awkward quirk. For high-achieving professionals in high-pressure environments, it’s often tied to deeper feelings of self-doubt and impostor syndrome. It’s not that you don’t want to feel appreciated—it’s that deep down, you don’t believe you deserve it.
But this goes further than just brushing off kind words. When you can’t internalize praise, your brain focuses only on criticism or what’s not done yet. Over time, this reinforces the belief that no matter how much you achieve, it’s never enough. Instead of motivating you, it leaves you feeling unseen and disconnected from your own success.
This week in therapy, a client shared something that really made me think. After leading a successful project, their manager said, “You did an incredible job here. The team couldn’t have done it without you.”
Their response? “Oh, the team did all the work.”
Later, they admitted, “I don’t know how to take a compliment well. I get uncomfortable and quickly dismiss the person. I don’t feel complemented when someone complements me.”
It wasn’t just about the compliment—it was about not believing they were worthy of it.
We worked on reframing their relationship with praise. First, we identified where the discomfort came from—patterns of perfectionism and self-criticism learned over time. Then, we practiced small but powerful changes: pausing to acknowledge the compliment, saying “thank you” without deflecting, and reflecting on what the compliment meant.
Over time, they began to see compliments not as uncomfortable moments to endure, but as opportunities to connect with their worth and the value they bring.
If you’ve ever felt like compliments bounce off you instead of sinking in, it’s not just about words—it’s about how you see yourself. In my 1:1 therapy sessions, we’ll work together to unpack these feelings, shift your mindset, and build a healthier relationship with success and self-worth.
