If you feel like you’re not getting your needs met by people around you, think about how you might not be meeting that need for yourself first.
For example; if you feel like people around you are not appreciating you enough, think first about whether you are appreciating yourself enough or not. Your frustration with the people around you may actually be frustration that you have towards yourself for not meeting your own need for appreciation.
It may be a tough one to wrap your head around because it’s a quick knee-jerk response to say; “My boss never appreciates me. Even after all of my hard work, I doubt he’ll say thank you.” If you were doing a great job at appreciating yourself first, you might not put up with someone who doesn’t appreciate and validate you for moving the project forward.
If there’s a little alarm bell ringing in your head and you’re saying to yourself that you actually need to value yourself more in order for other people to value you more, then you know this one is for you.
Identify your needs:
Think about what you need. Sometimes it’s hard to identify what it is that you need. If that’s hard for you, think about what you’re needing from other people. Oftentimes, the need you have that other people don’t always seem to meet is actually an indication that you are needing to give it to yourself.
Think about those moments in romantic relationships, work relationships, and friend relationships. Write those moments down and check off which ones you are giving yourself, and check off the ones you’re not giving yourself.
That will help guide you to take the next steps in order to meet that need for yourself, before you look towards other people to meet that need for you.
