YES! No parent guilt needed.
It is so hard to give up control in this area. It is a challenge to know how much is too much and without knowing the answer to that – it is so hard to let go.
Here in Dubai having nannies, assistance (sometimes family, sometimes not) and just help in general is typical. But the guilt of delegating child care to home assistance doesn’t have to be your normal too.
Part of what how this virus has impacted us, is only feel safe when we are at home and with our whole family. It has put a huge amount of strain on relationships. Teachers, school friends and bus drivers are all there for more than just their job description. They are friendly and caring and help our kids feel safe.
Having assistance helps in so many ways. It relieves a lot of pressure placed on your 24/7 relationship with your child. It gives your child an opportunity to feel safe and secure with another adult, and not only with you.
It can be hard not to feel jealous about this and their bond with your child. But think about it this way: we would much rather your child did bond with that other person rather than not bond at all.
When you are with your child, choose to be present. Let your face light up with joy when you see them and get to spend time with them. And when you are away from them, use that time to get “away from them” tasks completed… or just the “get away from them” task can be completed too.
Your job as a parent is to help them feel safe within themselves and within this world. Not to be their safety at all times so that they can only feel safe when you are around.
Giving them space to develop their own confidence and safety is huge for them and their development and for you too in growing their independence.
