You may be someone who is a perfectionist. That means you’re a high-achiever who is expecting the most of yourself. That can feel as if the weight of the world is on your shoulders because, truly, it is hard to live up to your own expectations. You wouldn’t place those expectations upon your best friends. But you always have those expectations for yourself.
The importance of failure:
One of the most helpful things you can do is remember that failure has to happen to move closer towards success. For example, a toddler doesn’t just walk for the first time. They stand up, fall down, learn to crawl, then only start to walk. It’s not a simple process. There is always a learning curve involved and failure or mistakes made along the way to success.
The more you tell yourself that what you are doing is wrong and inaccurate, the less you will be able to forgive yourself when you make a mistake. And the more stuck you will feel.
Rewarding your attempt to succeed:
Something you can do to help yourself is to reward yourself for attempting to succeed. It is not about the success, but about the attempts you make to get yourself there.
For example, if you are trying to become a marathon runner and you know that your training plan is to run 5km at a certain pace, it is important to praise yourself for putting on your running shoes and simply getting on the treadmill.
The attempt to become the kind of person you want to become is what we’re trying to reward and affirm, not the fact that you actually did the 5km at the pace you wanted.
Rewarding yourself for the attempt in itself doesn’t always feel good enough. Why? I know that there is a part of your brain questioning what is good enough. It is the dedication that will get you to be that marathon runner one day, that is good enough. When you don’t believe that your attempt is enough, you will struggle to become the kind of person you one day see yourself being.
Taking action without thinking:
One of the things that makes you fear failure, or lean towards being a procrastinator, or high-achiever is that the idea of taking action is exactly that – an idea.
Taking action means stepping into the behavior zone when you’re often much more comfortable in the thinking zone. You’re often thinking things through – should or shouldn’t I, could I or couldn’t I, etc.
What is one thing you can do today to take action, that is going to bring you one step further from that fear of failure, and one step closer to rewarding yourself for attempting something important?
