You see people traveling, building businesses, having picture-perfect experiences. You start thinking, Am I doing enough? Am I wasting my life? Even when you’re doing something great, there’s that nagging thought: Could I be doing something better? Instead of feeling fulfilled, you feel guilty—like every moment you’re not maximizing life is a moment wasted.”
For highly optimized people, success isn’t just about doing well—it’s about not missing out. You hold yourself to an impossible standard, where every day should be optimized, productive, or extraordinary. But when that expectation isn’t met, instead of feeling content, you feel guilt. The guilt of not doing enough. Not experiencing enough. Not being enough.
But here’s the paradox: the more you chase living life to the fullest, the more exhausting it becomes. Even rest doesn’t feel restful—because in the back of your mind, you’re asking, Is this a waste of time? Should I be out doing something bigger? Instead of creating memories, you’re measuring them. Instead of enjoying your life, you’re grading it. And no matter how much you do, it never feels like enough.
This week in therapy, a client admitted: “I should be happy. I have a great career, a great partner and great friends. But instead of appreciating it, I obsess over what I don’t have yet. I feel guilty if I have a quiet weekend. I feel like I should be out traveling, networking, doing something meaningful. I can’t shake the feeling that I’m letting my life pass me by.”
They described how this guilt wasn’t about regret—it was about fear. Fear that one day, they’d look back and realize they didn’t live enough. But in trying to avoid that fear, they were stuck in a cycle of never feeling satisfied now.
Through therapy, we worked on shifting from external validation to internal fulfillment—a lot easier said than done. We challenged the belief that every day has to be extraordinary, replacing it with the idea that small moments can be just as meaningful as big ones.
We also practiced mindfulness techniques to bring their focus back to the present, rather than constantly scanning for what’s missing. Over time, they started feeling something unexpected: peace. Not because they had done everything, but because they stopped feeling guilty for what they hadn’t done.
If you’re stuck in the cycle of FOMO and guilt, constantly measuring your life instead of living it, you’re not alone. In my 1:1 therapy sessions, we’ll help you break free from the pressure to always be doing more, so you can actually enjoy your life—without guilt, without comparison, and without fear.
