You tell yourself to shake it off—criticism from a boss, getting passed over for a promotion, feeling unseen in a meeting. ‘Be professional. Don’t take it personally.’ But deep down, something stings. You start wondering: Is this about my ego? My pride? Or is it something deeper?”
For high-achieving professionals, self-worth is often tied to performance. When you’re used to excelling, every setback feels personal. You might downplay your hurt, convincing yourself that only your ego is bruised. But the truth is, it’s not just about pride—it’s about feeling valued, respected, and seen for the effort you put in.
The more you dismiss these feelings as ‘just ego,’ the more they fester. You start second-guessing yourself, overworking to prove your worth, or withdrawing to protect yourself from further disappointment. And when your self-worth gets shaken enough times, it stops feeling like a temporary setback—it starts feeling like a truth: Maybe I’m not as good as I thought I was. Maybe I don’t deserve more.
This week in therapy, a client shared: “I tell myself not to care, but when I don’t get the recognition I actually want, I feel it. I hate that it gets to me. It makes me feel weak.”
They described how every missed opportunity felt like a confirmation that they weren’t good enough. And because they didn’t want to seem sensitive or entitled, they buried those feelings. But instead of going away, the doubt started creeping into everything—making them second-guess their work, hesitate in conversations, and feel less confident in spaces where they once thrived.
Through therapy, we worked on separating ego from self-worth—understanding that feeling hurt doesn’t make you weak; it makes you human. We focused on internal validation instead of waiting for external recognition. They practiced shifting from “If I’m not praised, I’m not good enough” to “I know my value and I’ll acknowledge it, whether others acknowledge it or not.”
They also built strategies to respond to disappointment without shutting down. Instead of withdrawing, they started advocating for themselves, asking for feedback, and recognizing when a setback was situational—not a reflection of their entire worth.
If your self-worth feels like it’s constantly being tested, you’re not alone—and it’s not just about ego. In my 1:1 therapy sessions, we’ll help you rebuild confidence, navigate setbacks without spiraling, and create a foundation of self-worth that isn’t dependent on external validation.
