First off, we are not going to stop it. I thought you should get the truth from me – straight up! And we don’t want to stop it because it keeps us alive and well and safe from very real danger.
Our ultimate goal is to change your child’s understanding and relationship with the discomfort of uncertainty. It is awful to feel unsure and angry and not know what to do with it. Even as adults, we as a totally awesome species often choose to place our anger firmly onto the shoulders of someone else. Oftentimes, through a totally un-awesome racist, xenophobic or sexist comment.
This all happens in split seconds when the brainstem receives information about what it determines is a threatening situation for your child to be in. It doesn’t matter if it really is threatening or not – your child’s body just reacts. So what can we do to help them out?
Ask your child:
- “Are you worried because you really are in danger?
- “Are you worried because this will either mean you fit in and belong, or don’t?”
- “Is now a good time to run away and hide? Or is now a good time to be brave even if …?”
Turn anxiety and worry into something that helps instead of hurts. It’s there to protect your child and keep them safe if there really is real danger. It won’t ever go away. Learning how it works and why it works the way it does can help your child get in control of it, rather than it in control of them.
