You show up every day with a smile, telling yourself to ‘stay positive’ no matter what’s happening inside. But inside you, there’s a heaviness—a feeling that your true emotions don’t have a place in your life, your relationships or your work. Forcing positivity feels like the only option, but it’s exhausting.
In high-pressure environments, there’s often an unspoken rule: stay optimistic, be a team player, don’t show cracks. You might feel like you have to stuff down frustration, sadness, or anxiety just to get through the day. But when you constantly push your real feelings aside, they don’t go away—they build up, leaving you feeling disconnected from yourself and your work. The same work that you used to be so much more engaged in.
Over time, this “forced positivity” can make it harder to process what you’re actually going through. Instead of dealing with stress or setbacks, you mask them, leaving you stuck in a cycle of pretending everything is fine while feeling emotionally drained. And when you can’t be honest with yourself, it becomes even harder to connect with others, making you feel more alone.
This week in therapy, a client shared something that hit hard: “I feel like I have to smile through everything I do, even when I’m falling apart. It’s like I feel like I have to shoehorn my anxious and overwhelmed feelings into positive ones.”
As we unpacked this, it became clear that their habit of forcing positivity came from a fear of being seen as weak or ungrateful. But all it did was add pressure to an already full plate. They weren’t just dealing with stress—they were carrying the burden of pretending their stress didn’t exist.
We worked on creating an outlet for their true emotions—without them feeling judgment towards themself for feeling what they felt. It started with small steps: allowing themselves to say, “This is hard” without immediately following it up with, “But it’s fine, I can manage it just like everyone else does.” They began journaling about their real feelings and practicing talking to themselves like they are their own best friend instead of their own worst enemy. Slowly, they learned that acknowledging their emotions didn’t make them weak or a burden—it made them human and a healthy one at that.
If you’ve been forcing yourself to stay positive while ignoring how you truly feel, it’s time to make space for all of your emotions. In my 1:1 online therapy sessions, I’ll explore what’s beneath the surface and give you practical tools to process your feelings in a way that helps you move forward. [If now is not the time for you to work with a professional, stick around and see the real life struggles that professionals just like you face and get real life practical solutions to them, so you too can change your life.]
