Self-confidence can be a tricky one. It seems like the people that have it somehow know a secret and you don’t.
Self-confidence is actually really simple. It’s the way we talk to ourselves. If the way we talk to ourselves is punitive and critical, and is often something you wouldn’t say to your best friend, then your self-confidence is not going to be in a very good place. You are not going to grow in your self confidence much either.
Something that you can remember as you try to grow your self-confidence is to focus on the words and the things you say to yourself. Pay attention to whether what you say is something you would say out loud, or to your best friend. What are the things you say to yourself when you are hungry, lonely, angry, tired, or cold – all those times are when you can be extra hard on yourself and critical towards yourself.
How do you treat yourself? Can you move yourself from a more negative place to a more neutral place, and then to a more positive place? Here’s an example: “you’re so stupid. You shouldn’t have done that” can be more neutral with: “you tried and it didn’t work” to more positive: “you’re always trying your best. That’s the most I can ask of myself so way to go me”.
The jump from negative to positive is quite tough but if you can take yourself from negative, to neutral, and then to positive, your self-confidence is going to soar. Little by little, you will get there – keep practicing!
