A very evolved amygdala can be helpful. Genetically speaking, it is what has helped us all survive. It comes from a strong, powerful, necessary human response of self preservation. Jump to today, and the threats we face are about whether we fit in with our friends and family. Whether we’ll be accepted for all our struggles and baggage, and if we will feel like we belong.
This is what leads to a fast beating heart rate or stomach cramps for seemingly no reason at all. It is still very real even though the threat is psychological. These things make us feel like we belong or that we don’t – fear of being judged, being laughed at, not being included, being forgotten. This shakes us and our body and brain registers a not so visible threat – yet a very real one at the same time.
It does not come from a bad or messed up brain. It has nothing to do with whether you did something wrong in your child’s development or not. It’s just the brain preparing the body and dealing with threat. It’s just happening at a time that it doesn’t need to. It’s not a registered threat – it’s responding to the meaning layered onto an experience. It makes sense. Some amygdalas work overtime. And they move from being protective to over protective. And it’s why you need to be in control of anxiety, rather than let anxiety be in control of you.
First step? Make sense of it. Information is processed by the brain stem (responsible for respiration, temperature, cardiac), then the diencephalon (responsible for arousal, sleep, appetite, movement), then the limbic area (responsible for emotions, bonding, reward) and then finally the prefrontal cortex (logical, language, time, hope). It happens from bottom to top and in that order.
If sensory input and how you feel in your body is classified as safe, the information gets processed bottom to top of the brain. If that information is classified as not safe, it shuts off the prefrontal cortex. This is why you feel as if your daughter’s brain is not hers anymore – because it has been shut down for self preservation. It will only be brought back online and you will only have your daughter’s brain back in action, after your child feels safe again. Best way to do this? Trusting connection and relationship.
