Your son or daughter commits to just one thing at university—an on campus meeting, a coursework assignment, or a small favor. But instead of it feeling manageable to them, it spirals in their mind. That single task grows into what feels like 100 more, each one adding to the weight they’re already carrying. They don’t just feel overwhelmed—they feel paralyzed by their own brain.”
For neurodiverse university students, obligations often feel disproportionately heavy because their brain amplifies their perceived mental load. A single commitment can trigger overthinking about all the steps involved, the potential outcomes, and the ways it might go wrong. This turns even simple tasks into overwhelming mountains, leaving them stuck in a cycle of anxiety and avoidance.
The harder they try to manage their mental chatter, the more overwhelming it becomes. They might start avoiding tasks entirely, feeling like they’re drowning in invisible demands. Over time, this not only affects their productivity but also their self-esteem. They start believing they’re “bad” at commitments, which feeds into guilt and shame. And as a parent, you see their struggle but feel unsure how to help lighten the mental load.
This week in therapy, a university student shared: “I told my friend I’d help them move their stuff into their new room. It’s just one thing, right? But in my head, it became this huge deal. I started thinking about what I’d miss if it took too long, what would happen if I didn’t help them out perfectly or exactly the way they wanted, and how tired I’d feel after.”
They described how every small obligation or commitment feels like opening a floodgate, with their mind racing through every possible scenario and consequence. It wasn’t about the actual task—it was about the overwhelming mental weight they associated with it.
We began by helping them untangle the mental “messiness” they carried. Together, we introduced a technique called “task containment,” where obligations are broken into smaller, clearly defined steps and given a realistic time frame. For example, instead of “helping move their stuff,” we reframed it as “helping with painting their new room between 3pm and 5pm.” This made the task feel finite and achievable.
During tutoring sessions, their neurodiversity trained tutor worked with them to develop a visual system—a way to map out commitments in order of priority and effort required. This helped reduce the mental overlap between tasks, so one obligation didn’t feel like it multiplied into 100 more.
Parents also learned to validate their experience without adding pressure. Instead of saying, “It’s just one thing,” they began asking, “What part of this feels the hardest?”—creating space for their child to process what they need without judgment. Over time, the student began to feel more in control, less overwhelmed, and better equipped to handle obligations at university without spiraling.
If your son or daughter feels like even one small obligation turns into 100 in their mind, they’re not alone—and there’s a way to help. At Warrior Brain, our integrated therapy and tutoring services work together to teach neurodiverse students strategies to manage their mental load, making life easier for them and for you.
